


Foreign Affairs

by LtLJ



Series: Hunting Parties Series [3]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Character of Color, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-20
Updated: 2006-09-20
Packaged: 2017-10-02 21:48:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LtLJ/pseuds/LtLJ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John shifted self-consciously. Most awkward second date in the history of...me. And that was saying something. Show up without calling first, bring a bunch of friends who need immediate medical attention, be followed by a small but hostile alien raiding party, then pass out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Foreign Affairs

  
The first time they went back to Tasiben, it was an accident.

They had gone to PX3-411 to look for Stackhouse's team, who had been looking for an Ancient site. Four days later, everybody had hypothermia from the constant ice storms, was sick from all the carbon dioxide in the air, and they had been constantly chased by the crazy natives who might be humans wearing fur coats or aliens with fur, but who were crazy nonetheless. John was more than ready to get the hell out of there. Then his IDC wouldn't work.

"It was probably that energy field in the ruin," Rodney yelled over the howling wind, the angry shrieks of the maybe-human natives, and the rattle of P-90 fire as Ford and Stackhouse tried to hold them off. "My watch is dead and the life signs detector isn't working either!"

Then an arrow slammed into the DHD, a chunk of flying ice hit Teyla in the head, and John thought, _fuck this_ and dialed the first safe address he could think of.

Tasiben's weather wasn't ideal either, and they could be walking into a sandstorm, but it would be better than this. John shot at natives as the others stumbled or crawled through the gate, then he booted the last couple of dazed Marines through and jumped after them.

He staggered out on the other side, falling down the steps and rolling onto sandy soil. The gate was in a wide bowl-shaped depression, surrounded by scattered rock formations and boulders. John's frozen ears were ringing from the sudden quiet after the howl of the storm, and the dry dusty air was sweet. The sky was sallow, threatening bad weather, but it must be a good 60 degrees warmer than the frozen landscape they had just come from.

He shoved himself up and looked around. Teyla and Yamato were still out of it, Rodney was trying to sit up while sneezing uncontrollably, and everyone else was sprawled on the sand in front of the gate, coughing and shivering. The wormhole was still open, and John dragged at his P-90 with frozen fingers, trying to turn around just in case the crazy maybe-humans followed them through. Then Ford croaked, "Major, we got company--"

John looked back toward the rocks. There were five women coming out of hiding, approaching cautiously. They were all Tasiben, dressed only in brief kilts or scarves wrapped around their waists, and heavy bead jewelry. Their dark skin was marked by tattoos and piercings. They had weapons, small crossbows and spears, but they weren't pointing them. They looked more startled than anything else. The one in the lead was gorgeous, not an uncommon thing on Tasiben, though there was gray threaded through her dark hair and faint lines around her eyes. John didn't recognize her, or any of the others, but then he hadn't seen the women's tribe, not until right before they left. And he had spent most of that time lying in the jumper. He said, "Hey, there. We're--"

"Atlantean?" she said, coming closer. She added something in Tasiben, which John didn't understand.

He said in relief, "Right, Atlantean." She must have recognized their uniforms. The Tasiben didn't travel much through the gate, so few of them spoke anything but their own language. And John had only managed to pick up the words for "yes," "no," and some other things that weren't helpful for this kind of communication. John tried to shove himself to his feet, and slumped back down again when his head swam. He tapped himself in the chest. "Major John Sheppard."

She nodded, seeming to recognize his name. She touched her chest, which John was trying very hard not to stare at, and said, "Shinabi."

Coughing, Rodney crawled over to Teyla. "I don't know how long it'll take to fix the radios, but we can dial Atlantis, and let the wormhole close. They'll dial back and send a MALP--"

"Right." As soon as John could stand up and make it to the DHD, he was going to do just that. Shinabi knelt in front of him, her brow furrowed, looking as if she was trying to figure out what was wrong. He told her, "Sorry to drop in like this, but we'll be out of here in just a minute." She touched his shoulder, her fingers brushing through the foul-smelling snow still melting on his jacket. The puzzled frown turned to concern; she laid the back of her hand against his cheek, and gasped. "Yeah, cold," John agreed. He was so cold he had barely felt the warmth of her hand.

She said something that was probably the Tasiben equivalent of "Oh my God, you people are frozen!" and stood up to call out to the others.

That was when a bunch of the crazy maybe-humans charged through the gate.

John shoved to his feet on adrenaline alone, turning and aiming the P-90. Ford and Stackhouse managed to stand too, doing a good imitation of men who weren't dead on their feet, and Benson just rolled over and pointed his weapon in the right direction. The Tasiben jerked up their crossbows, covering the newcomers. In his peripheral vision, John saw Rodney grab Teyla under the arms and drag her back. Two of the younger Tasiben girls darted forward, got Yamato by his tac vest, and hauled him to safety.

The maybe humans stopped, staring, as the wormhole popped out of existence behind them. They were armed only with wicked-looked clubs with jagged metal jammed into the wood, no bows, and they weren't moving forward. John said, "Hold your fire."

He heard movement in the rocks behind him and flicked a quick look around. There were something like fifty Tasiben women standing up from cover, all armed, all pointing crossbows at the maybe-humans. John heard Stackhouse, who admittedly had issues with the people who had been trying so hard to kill him for days, mutter, "Yeah, how do you like those odds, bastards."

Undaunted, the maybe-human leader brandished a club and started forward. Shinabi put a crossbow bolt into the ground an inch from his feet. He stopped. She lifted a brow and said something short and succinct in Tasiben.

John said, "She says this is her planet, now get the hell off it."

"Is that really what she said?" Rodney asked, supporting Teyla.

"That's what it sounded like to me," Ford put in, warily watching the maybe-humans.

Shinabi jerked her head toward the DHD, and spoke again. Still translating based on body language and expression, John said, "The DHD's right there. Don't let the wormhole hit you in the ass on your way off the planet."

The maybe-humans in the back shifted uncertainly, turning to look at the inactive gate. The leader brandished his club again but didn't move toward them. Seen from closer up, John still couldn't tell if they were human. But the fur was grotty and patchy; surely it couldn't be attached to their bodies.

Shinabi looked at John, and he could see she didn't particularly want to kill these guys. He didn't either. They might be malicious bastards, but they were outnumbered and outgunned, and most of them looked like they didn't want to be here. Shinabi jerked her chin toward them, then tapped her head significantly. "Yeah," John agreed wearily. "They're too stupid to back down."

Yamato came to, coughing violently. He stared at the young Tasiben woman crouched next to him, and gasped, "Sir, I'm hallucinating."

"You're not hallucinating, Private, just take it easy," Ford said, still sounding unsteady. "Major, it's us these guys are after. Maybe if we're out of sight, they'll leave."

John grimaced. They had been on Icy Death Planet for days, and they needed to get the wounded, which at this point was pretty much the entire team, back to Atlantis. But the maybe-humans showed no sign of budging, and Shinabi was making gestures indicating that they should withdraw, having obviously come to the same conclusion as Ford. She was also pointing urgently at the sky, which was turning a sallower shade of yellow. One of Tasiben's killer sandstorms was coming up. "Right," John said. "Let's get out of here."

  
***

  
Shinabi left a group to make sure the maybe-humans didn't follow them, and they retreated from the gate area. John had thought the Tasiben might be using the old Isveni camp, but the women guided them to a cave in a rock formation not far from away.

"Oh good, another cave," Rodney said sourly as he staggered along, helping John carry Teyla. "We had so much luck with the last one." The main passage was wide and swept clean, openings leading off into smaller rooms and corridors. They passed a chamber where the riding animals, which looked like shaggy buffalo-camel crosses, were stabled. John hoped it wasn't far; the Marines were swaying on their feet and Rodney was turning green.

Then the passage opened into a larger central area. It was lit by bowl-shaped oil lamps and fires in round stone hearths. It was also out of the wind, warm, and nobody was chasing them.

They made it as far as the big central firepit before Benson collapsed. Stackhouse helped lower Yamato to the ground, then fell over next to him. Rodney, who had been helping John carry Teyla, didn't collapse so much as lie down on the stone floor next to her and say, "This is fine, I'll die right here, thanks." John and Ford stumbled around, making sure everybody was still breathing, while the Tasiben hurried to bring fur blankets and build up the fires.

This wasn't big enough to be a permanent base, and John didn't see any elderly women or kids; he thought this group might be a garrison, here to keep an eye on the gate and defend against another Isveni infestation. He thought they might try to separate them from Teyla, and was prepared to politely resist that, but they didn't. Either the cave was too small to bother with normal Tasiben living arrangements for men and women, or this group knew the Atlanteans didn't do that.

John's hands finally defrosted enough so that he could carefully feel the back of Teyla's head. He found a lump, but the skin wasn't broken. Her breathing and pulse were okay, and she growled and stirred a little when he checked her pupils. "How is she?" Rodney asked, pushing himself up enough to eye her worriedly.

"I think she's okay." He hoped she was okay. John rubbed his eyes. He was starting to thaw out enough to feel his bruises and he was so exhausted he couldn't see straight. From down the center passage, he could hear the wind outside rising to a howl. The sandstorm should chase off the maybe-humans, but they would have to wait for it to die down before they could make it back to the gate. It wasn't like they could dial and go straight through; unless the radios started to work again, they would have to wait for Atlantis to dial back and send the MALP to identify them.

In three hours Atlantis would dial P3X-Hell again. When they got no response by radio, they could download the MALP's telemetry and see that the team had dialed out to another location under fire, though John didn't think the MALP had been in position to record the address. Of course, that was if the MALP was still working, and the energy field that had taken out their watches, radios, and the life signs detector hadn't extended far enough to take it out, too.

"You should lie down, you look awful," Rodney said, squinting at him in the dimness.

John blinked, staring at him, realizing he had zoned out there. "Yeah, in a minute."

Rodney looked around as one of the women came to give him a bundle of furs. "Oh, ah, thank you. God, I'm so exhausted this isn't even giving me an erection."

Ford, who had just sat down wearily, looked up with a grimace. "TMI, Dr. McKay."

"Major." Stackhouse's voice was an uneven rasp. He was sprawled on the other side of the fire with Benson and Yamato. They had been on the planet two days longer than John's team, and had been involuntary guests of the maybe-humans for a while there. It was a miracle Stackhouse was still conscious. "They want to give us water. Is that okay?"

John scrubbed at his forehead, trying to make himself stay awake. "Yeah, the water's fine. There's some green herbal tea stuff, that's okay too. Oh." The woman who was offering the food must have realized John had to give permission before the others could take anything, and had brought a bowl over to show him. He stared into it. Luckily, his stomach was too frozen to turn. "No bugs, no." He smiled and shook his head emphatically. "Uh, we just ate, thanks." This part of Tasiben was all rocky desert, and didn't have a lot of food resources, and what it had wasn't exactly palatable, unless you were used it. Besides, they didn't need to use this group's supplies; the rations in their packs would be able to thaw now.

Ford took a look at the bowl, grimaced, and crawled away to crumple up next to Yamato. "Oh, man, I didn't need to see that just now."

Teyla suddenly flailed upright, startling all the Tasiben nearby. "Hey, hey, it's okay!" John caught her fist before she could punch him.

Teyla stared, breathing hard. "What-- Where--" She lifted a hand to her head, wincing. "Ow. Where are we?"

John steadied her, feeling a little light-headed with relief himself. She might be woozy and concussed, but at least she was talking and sort of coherent. He considered explaining the entire sequence of events since she had been knocked unconscious, but her eyes were vague and he settled for the most pertinent fact. "We're not on Icy Death Planet anymore."

"Oh, good." She blinked in pain, and swayed over against him. "I do not feel well."

John helped her lie down, as one of the older women hastily pushed another fur under her to cushion her head. "Just take it easy."

The cave settled down after that, the team asleep or just immobile from exhaustion. The roar of the sandstorm rose outside, the fires threw hypnotic shadows on the rock walls, and the Tasiben women moved around in the half-light, talking softly, getting their evening meal ready. Guarding the gate must normally be fairly boring for them. _At least we broke up the day,_ John thought. Hopefully the fun and excitement made up for dumping injured people on them and bringing down the incompetent wrath of the maybe-humans.

John realized he had several women sitting around watching him expectantly. He thought they were possibly waiting for him to pass out like everybody else. "I'm fine," he told them. Except for the parts of him that were still frozen, that was kind of uncomfortable. He tugged his tac vest and jacket open to let in some warmth, and tried to think of a way to ask if the gate was clear yet.

He was trying to illustrate his question with a diagram on the dusty floor, when a sudden stir from the entrance passage made him sit up straight, reaching for the P-90. But the figure who strode in was Tasiben, a big man wrapped in a cloak, still shaking the sand out of the folds.

John stared, wondering if he was hallucinating. He had just assumed this couldn't happen. The male and female tribes didn't live together, didn't travel together; he had thought that if the women were here it meant the men were off across the desert somewhere. He dropped the gun and shoved to his feet.

The man shook his hood back, saw John, and froze. He said in astonishment, "John."

"Vanrin." _I'm not hallucinating,_ John thought, then swayed a little. _Whoa, head rush._

From behind him, Rodney said grimly, "Oh, of course. Now my day is complete."

Then John did pass out.

  
***

  
It was really embarrassing. John didn't fade out all the way, just most of it. Vanrin lunged forward and caught him, lowering him to one of the fur pallets. "I'm fine," John tried to say, and it came out. "Um."

Teyla, woken by the commotion and still blearily confused, leaned over him to see if he was all right and nearly fell on him. Somebody steered her away. John had to admit, he really did feel like crap.

"What happened?" Vanrin asked. He put a warm hand on John's forehead, and the world seemed to stop swaying. It felt so good John forgot to answer the question.

Rodney answered, "We were exploring a planet that tried to kill us. As you may already be aware, this actually happens frequently. We tried to leave, but our city's gate has a safety feature; if we don't identify ourselves before we try to go through, it will kill us. Our means of identification wouldn't work, and we had no time to try alternate methods, so the Major decided to come here." Rodney admitted grudgingly, "And yes, we were able to get help immediately, so...it wasn't that bad an idea."

"What he said," John managed.

"I see," Vanrin said, "Just rest."

The next time John opened his eyes, it took him a moment to realize time had passed. The cave was darker and more quiet, and the wind had died down. Somebody had pulled off his vest and jacket, and both were rolled up neatly beside his head, with his weapons propped on them. Vanrin was sitting on the edge of the pallet, outlined by the firelight. He turned, saw John was awake, and smiled. "Hello."

"Hi." Squinting blearily, John checked his watch, remembered it had stopped, and cursed Icy Death Planet again. "How long was I out?"

"You arrived here in the early morning, and it is now late afternoon. You feel better?"

"Yeah, actually." Being unconscious for a while had helped. John pushed himself into a sitting position, wincing as stiff muscles ached. He looked around. The others all seemed to be asleep. Teyla was curled up nearby, barely visible under a fur blanket, and Rodney was lying just past her. Ford and the others were all bundled up in the furs, and Benson was snoring. "Everybody okay?"

"They are all well, still sleeping," Vanrin assured him. He hesitated. "You look well. I see you are healed, from your injuries."

The last time they had seen each other, John had been crippled and still sick from the Isveni drugs. That had been months ago, and his feet had finally healed up, though he still had the scars. "Our doctor is pretty good, too." John shifted self-consciously. _Most awkward second date in the history of...me._ And that was saying something. _Show up without calling first, bring a bunch of friends who need immediate medical attention, be followed by a small but hostile alien raiding party, then pass out._ He said, "Uh, sorry about bringing those guys here. I didn't think they'd chase us through the wormhole."

Vanrin shrugged. "It is no trouble." It was his turn to shift self-consciously. "I have been worried about you."

John scrubbed a hand through his hair, still trying to wake up, not sure what he meant. "About me?"

Vanrin lifted his brows. "When we traveled through the gate years ago, most people I met were farmers or traders, not...peaceful explorers."

"Well, yeah," John admitted. He did have something of a high-stress job, even for Pegasus. "It isn't usually this bad." Vanrin's brows conveyed incredulity. "It was Stackhouse's team that got in trouble, they got cut off from the gate, and we had to go in and-- We just needed to get out of there in a hurry."  
Trying to change the subject, he said, "I didn't think anybody would be at your gate."

Vanrin nodded, his expression serious. "We guard it now. A group who are apparently related to the Isveni have tried twice to come through. This time we did not make the mistake of allowing them to stay."

"Huh." John made a mental note to take the Marines back to Planet Deliverance and explain more emphatically to the inhabitants about leaving other people the hell alone. He added, "I didn't think you'd be here."

"It is our tribe's turn to send a party to guard the gate. I came ahead to meet with Shinabi." Vanrin smiled again. "It was...very good luck."

John's mouth quirked. "For us, yeah."

Vanrin met his eyes, still smiling. "For me, I meant."

Rodney sat up abruptly, and John flinched. He said, "What?"

"Nothing." Rodney eyed him suspiciously. "Why?"

"Nothing."

They glared at each other. Vanrin cleared his throat.

John let his breath out and told himself to relax. Besides, Rodney's hair was sticking up in all directions and he looked kind of hilarious. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." Rodney rubbed his face and grimaced. "You're the one who fainted dramatically."

John gritted his teeth. "I stood up too fast."

Rodney gave him a withering look. "Whatever. Look, much as I'm sure you're enjoying this, can we get to the gate yet?"

Vanrin said, "Unfortunately, the intruders are still there."

John frowned, startled. "They didn't leave when the storm started?" The Tasiben could move during the storms, and had used them for cover when attacking the Isveni, but John couldn't imagine sitting one out when the gate was right there, ready to take you home.

"Strangely, no. Shinabi's scouts said they took shelter in the rocks. It is very odd." Vanrin shook his head, looking frustrated. "We don't understand what their purpose could be in remaining here."

"What, could they want another chance at us?" Rodney demanded. "We didn't do anything except look at their useless empty ruin. And it's not like there was anything there to see."

"Possibly." Vanrin shrugged. "But they have seen they are outnumbered here. It makes no sense."

"It doesn't," John agreed. "Is the storm died down enough that we can talk to them again?"

Vanrin cocked his head, listening to the wind. "We can try."

  
***

  
By the time John and Rodney got geared up and ready to go, Ford was awake. Yawning, he asked, "Major, you want me to come along?"

"No, stay here." If the maybe-human incursion turned into a full-scale invasion, John wanted somebody conscious with a P-90 to help the Tasiben defend the cave.

The sky was growing darker with twilight, though with the heavy cloud cover it was hard to tell. The wind was cool and dusty, making them cough and sneeze as Vanrin led them back toward the gate.

Shinabi met them along the way, carrying her crossbow and a fresh quiver of bolts. They exchanged greetings, and as they were walking, she glanced curiously at John and Rodney, then spoke to Vanrin.

After a moment, he translated, "She was asking if the others with you were part of your family -- she remarked that the two youngest do not look like you." Vanrin was trying unsuccessfully not to look amused by this. "I explained that your people are not organized by family groups."

"Right," John said, distracted. He was having a shocked _she thought I was old enough to be Ford and Yamato's father_ moment. Granted, Ford and Yamato both looked younger than they actually were, but still. "We don't have families on Atlantis."

Vanrin looked puzzled. "Not at all?"

"Well, the Athosians do. We don't."

Vanrin translated for Shinabi, and they both looked at John quizzically.

Rodney shook his head, squinting up at the yellow sky. "It's deeply frightening to me that we let you talk to aliens at all. You're making it sound like we're all raised in test tubes like cloned sheep." He turned to Vanrin. "We do have families, but they're on our homeworld, which is very very far away. Inaccessibly far away. When we were sent here to explore this galaxy, it was considered too dangerous to bring anyone but essential personnel. Of course, we didn't know exactly how dangerous. Probably too dangerous. But here we are."

The gate guards were posted up in the rocks, most of them wearing cloaks now against the still stinging wind. One of them came out as they approached and spoke to Shinabi and Vanrin. She looked pissed off and exasperated. Vanrin translated, "She says the intruders are still sitting there like idiots."

The maybe-humans were clustered around the rough stone steps that led up to the gate. When they saw John, Rodney, Vanrin, and Shinabi approach, they shoved to their feet, staring. John had thought maybe seeing a couple of the people they had tried so hard to kill might provoke some sort of response. The response seemed to be to stare uneasily, which wasn't helpful.

Vanrin folded his arms, studying them thoughtfully. He said to John, "I meant to ask: what are they?"

"I have no idea," John said. "We never got to that point. Stackhouse's team walked up and said hello, and they started screaming and throwing things, and that was it."

Vanrin called out to the maybe-humans. "What do you want? Why will you not leave peacefully?"

The leader looked around at the others, but didn't answer.

"Hmm. I think they understand, though." Vanrin frowned, scratching his chin. "It almost looks as though they do not know what they want."

Rodney muttered, "This is ridiculous." He yelled, "We've got better weapons than you. Go home!"

The maybe-humans shifted around but didn't respond. John thought they looked tired.

Rodney flung his arms in the air. "What, are they moving in? They can't want to actually live here." John stared at him, eyes narrowed, until Rodney got the hint. Rodney added stiffly, "No offense."

Vanrin coughed discreetly. "We find it very attractive but I can see how others might prefer to live elsewhere."

John looked at the maybe-humans again, absently biting his lip as he considered the situation. These guys lived in a stinking frozen wasteland, and they apparently liked it well enough to defend it with fanatical persistence, even when it didn't particularly need defending. John didn't understand what they would see in Tasiben's rocky deserts. Just in case, John yelled, "You can't have this planet, it's taken! Go find another one."

Still no response.

Vanrin shook his head, frowning. "They do not look as if they want to stay. Surely..."

"Surely what?" Rodney said. His brow furrowed. "You don't think--"

"They don't know how to use the gate," John finished. They did look like they wanted to leave. "You think?"

"They cannot be so stupid." Vanrin raised his voice to shout, "Do you know how to use the Ring? The symbols for your homeworld? The way back?"

The leader brandished his club again, but some of the others in the back shook their heads.

John sighed. "Son of a bitch."

Vanrin snorted, appalled and amused. "And I thought the Isveni were foolish."

Rodney gestured in helpless exasperation. "They must have known what the gate was for! How could they not know their address?"

John shook his head wearily. "Maybe all the ones that knew left and didn't come back. Or they didn't know, and couldn't get back."

Vanrin translated for Shinabi, who stared in disbelief, then clapped a hand over her eyes.

  
***

  
After some negotiation, they got the maybe-humans to move away from the DHD and out of the range of the initiating wormhole. John dialed the address for PX3-411 while the others covered him, and as soon as the wormhole formed, the maybe-humans charged through.

Once that was done they dialed Atlantis and let the wormhole close. In a few minutes the MALP showed up, and Elizabeth was very glad to hear they were all alive.

John and Rodney went back to the cave to get the rest of the team awake and moving, and then they got the outgoing wormhole open again. The entire Tasiben garrison came to see them off, everybody waved goodbye and thanks, and the team started to stumble through the gate.

As Ford and Rodney steered an unsteady Teyla into the wormhole, John hung back, feeling self-conscious again. The last of the team was through and he and Vanrin were alone, except for the fifty-plus Tasiben women watching curiously. He told him, "We owe you guys, again, so, if you ever need any help, just dial the address but don't go through. We'll dial back and--"

Vanrin took the shoulder strap of his tac vest, pulled him up and kissed him. It was deep, warm, and thorough, and it was like no time had passed at all, as if John had been gone from this world minutes instead of months. When Vanrin pulled back, John managed to finish, "Um. And we'll...send the MALP and...you know the rest."

Vanrin nodded, his face serious. "Take care."

John just nodded, because there wasn't anything else he could do, and walked up the steps to the wormhole.

  
**end**

**Author's Note:**

> Art by Pentapus

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Foreign Affairs [Podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1864017) by [librarychick_94](https://archiveofourown.org/users/librarychick_94/pseuds/librarychick_94)




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